Advertising, DCMontreal Commentary, DCMontreal Light, Humor, Pope, Wordpress

Pope Francis and Joe Boxer

Like many, Catholic and non-Catholic alike, I have been impressed with Pope Francis since his election. His humility and clear concern for the common person have become hallmarks of his papacy. His refusal to don many of the traditional trappings of a pope, including living in a smaller residence and using a common car around the Vatican, have shown him to be down-to-earth. I just have to believe he has a great sense of humour as well. And so with that in mind, I present the following recently hacked image from the Joe Boxer advertisement auditions.
FergKmart

I’m not sure Francis needed to go to such lengths to display his humility, but then it is Joe Boxer, not Tommy Hilfiger or Hugo Boss. I can’t imagine why he didn’t get the gig. Okay … maybe I made up the whole thing …

MeDCMontreal is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and Freans and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DC on Twitter @DCMontreal and on Facebook, and add him on Google+
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History, Humor, News, Pope, Weekly Writing Challenge, Wordpress

Pope Francis fast-tracks saints

PopeJohnXXIII

This week the Weekly Writing Challenge calls for humor. Having already commented on the rumor of a Papal recall, I thought I’d take on the latest news from the Vatican!

Now just a gosh darn moment. According to the New York Times, Pope Francis “has sped two of his predecessors toward sainthood”.  Pope John Paul II and Pope John XXIII have been fast-tracked for sainthood. Why? Because Francis liked them. Geez Louise, so much for being a man of the common folk. I wonder how Francis would have felt if someone cut in line at his old newspaper kiosk in Buenos Aries? I imagine he would have mentioned it to the paper vendor who might have explained that the person jumped the line because he liked him. I can’t see Francis standing still for that!

I have always thought the pope who followed Pope John Paul should have been called Pope George Ringo

And John XXIII doesn’t even have a second miracle attributed to him. Come on, what kind of saints can we expect from Francis? Cheaters who butt into line without the proper credentials? I can hear it now: Pray to old One-Miracle Johnny? Not a chance.

If nothing else, Pope Francis has shown again that he is his own man

The Vatican spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi, said Francis was eager to canonize John XXIII. “Despite the absence of a second miracle it was the pope’s will that the sainthood of the great pope of the Second Vatican Council be recognized.”

Pope Francis thinks rules were made to be broken. I, for one hope he’s just as understanding when it comes to Commandments!

PopeJohnPaulIII have to admit one miracle would convince me; you cure one person and you’ve proven to this agent you’re not your average Joe, Pius or John Paul. (I have always though the pope who followed Pope John Paul should have been called Pope George Ringo.) But there are rules and regulations to this sainthood business and clearly Pope Francis thinks rules were made to be broken. I, for one hope he’s just as understanding when it comes to Commandments!

I can hear it now: Pray to old One-Miracle Johnny? Not a chance

If nothing else, Pope Francis has shown again that he is his own man. It is refreshing to see a pontiff who is laying down new tracks rather than riding the old. But I am concerned about a rumor he’s been scanning the roster of the New Orleans NFL team …

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History, Humor, News, Pope, Wordpress

Pope Francis fast-tracks saints

PopeJohnXXIIINow just a gosh darn moment. According to the New York Times, Pope Francis “has sped two of his predecessors toward sainthood”.  Pope John Paul II and Pope John XXIII have been fast-tracked for sainthood. Why? Because Francis liked them. Geez Louise, so much for being a man of the common folk. I wonder how Francis would have felt if someone cut in line at his old newspaper kiosk in Buenos Aries? I imagine he would have mentioned it to the paper vendor who might have explained that the person jumped the line because he liked him. I can’t see Francis standing still for that!

I have always thought the pope who followed Pope John Paul should have been called Pope George Ringo

And John XXIII doesn’t even have a second miracle attributed to him. Come on, what kind of saints can we expect from Francis? Cheaters who butt into line without the proper credentials? I can hear it now: Pray to old One-Miracle Johnny? Not a chance.

If nothing else, Pope Francis has shown again that he is his own man

The Vatican spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi, said Francis was eager to canonize John XXIII. “Despite the absence of a second miracle it was the pope’s will that the sainthood of the great pope of the Second Vatican Council be recognized.”

Pope Francis thinks rules were made to be broken. I, for one hope he’s just as understanding when it comes to Commandments!

PopeJohnPaulIII have to admit one miracle would convince me; you cure one person and you’ve proven to this agent you’re not your average Joe, Pius or John Paul. (I have always though the pope who followed Pope John Paul should have been called Pope George Ringo.) But there are rules and regulations to this sainthood business and clearly Pope Francis thinks rules were made to be broken. I, for one hope he’s just as understanding when it comes to Commandments!

I can hear it now: Pray to old One-Miracle Johnny? Not a chance

If nothing else, Pope Francis has shown again that he is his own man. It is refreshing to see a pontiff who is laying down new tracks rather than riding the old. But I am concerned about a rumor he’s been scanning the roster of the New Orleans NFL team …

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Humor, Pope

Popemobile readied for Benedict’s successor

The Conclave has yet to begin, two cardinals are still on their way to Rome, but preparations for the next Pope, the fisher of men, are well underway.  Pope Benedict XVI, now Pope Emeritus, turned in his Fisherman’s ring and vacated the Vatican days ago. But it appears he left a reminder: his “gone fishin'” stick man decal from the Popemobile has yet to be removed.

 

Popemobile

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Canada, Humor, Lent, Pope

Papal campaigning, think of the promises

Today is the last day of Pope Benedict XVI’s  papacy. He has already urged the College of Cardinals to make haste and not wait until March 15th – perhaps he read my post regarding the ominous Ides of March and the potential for Irish Cardinals to miss St. Patrick’s Day – to begin the process of electing his successor.

The electing of a pope is an ancient process steeped in tradition and custom. The Cardinals meet behind locked doors, make no statements to the outside world other than a puff of smoke that indicates either a new pope has been elected, or a stalemate exists. But they keep going until a new pontiff is elected – a bit like playing extra innings in baseball. (Dare I suggest the St. Louis team plays a major role in the election?).

One of the many traditions is that no Cardinal should ever show any interest in being elected pope. It’s just not done! So I suspect the badge below featuring Canadian Cardinal Marc Ouellet that many Cardinals were sporting around Rome recently was created by a third-party!

VOTE

Okay … maybe they weren’t exactly sporting the badges. But I’ve got a hunch this “Gee .. shucks .. not me” attitude is a fairly recent phenomenon. I bet centuries ago there was all kinds of campaigning going on. If Benedict can be the first pope to resign in over 600 years, and change the rules to allow a faster selection process, why not let the Cardinals campaign? Think of the promises they could make; premarital sex isn’t all that bad, priests can marry (each other if they want), divorce? Why not?

Traditionalists and conservatives need not worry; when was the last time anybody kept an election promise?

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Humor, Pope

Papal Conclave to begin March 15th; will Irish Cardinals miss St. Patrick’s Day?

It seems the Vatican is considering the possibility of starting the process of electing a new pope on March 15th, All Caesarian references aside, would the Ides of March be an appropriate time to start the process? Seems ominous to me.

Of more importance perhaps is the fact that St. Patrick’s Day is on March 17th. Therefore any lobbying of the Irish Cardinals should begin now as you know they will want to be out in time for the parade.

Nothing like throwing a bit of a curve at an institution that relies on centuries of tradition. This will force the Church to think outside the mitre box and come up with something to deal with an uncommon situation.

20130216-121846.jpg

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Humor, Lent

Ash Wednesday: Welcome to Lent 2013

Today is Ash Wednesday, which means it’s Lent – “ … to whom and for how long”, as the old honeymoon joke punch line goes – the period of preparation for Easter through prayer, penance, repentance, almsgiving, and self-denial.

Hey … as the Cheers character Carla Tortelli pointed out “It’s not a religion for wusses”

This year even Benedict XVI has decided to give up being Pope!

LENT_2013

Click for full size calendar from Development & Peace

Unlike the sensible Yom Kippur, or Day of Atonement in the Jewish faith, Lent is a forty-day period. No doubt in keeping with Catholics love of mysteries, (e.g. the Holy Trinity with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit being three distinct persons yet one “substance, essence or nature”), in the Roman Catholic Church Lent is now 44 days in total. Starting on Ash Wednesday and ending on Holy Thursday rather than Easter Eve, and hence lasts 38 days excluding Sundays.

My personal tradition, as a good Catholic lad, for more years than I can recall, is to give up coffee for Lent. Maybe I’m a traditionalist, but I still hold-off until Easter morning. I’m not a terribly big consumer of coffee, but it is still a bit of a chore. I remember one year at Lent I was working in a very coffee-rich office environment and had increased my intake. The caffeine withdrawal headache lasted two weeks.

At Yom Kippur Jews traditionally greet each other with “Have an easy fast”, or some variation thereof. We Catholics are just a little too much into the suffering aspect of Lent to dare wish one another an “easy Lent” – that would defeat the purpose!

Actually in recent years an emphasis has been put on doing positive things during Lent rather than just giving up something you enjoy. Community work or just a “daily good deed” seems like better preparation for Easter than going without Jelly-Belly jelly-beans or M&Ms.

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Canada, Montreal

Happy Mardi Gras. Will the next pope be Canadian?

I recall in the lead up to the 1976 Olympic Summer games in Montreal, as is often the case with large-scale events, rumors of huge cost overruns (mind you, later to be confirmed) were rampant. When that was the topic of discussion they were referred to as “Montreal’s'” Olympics. “Montreal’s games won’t be ready on time”; “Montreal’s games won’t sell out”, and so on.

Then when the games opened on time and the opening ceremonies were broadcast round the world and the games went on to be a great success they all of a sudden became “Canada’s” games.  Years later when details of the overruns and corruption became known, the games were Quebec’s or Montreal’s once again.

People still come up to him and remember how well the Montreal games were staged and, in the end, how exciting they were, he added.

“They were pretty magic. All Olympics are magic but we had Comaneci with her first ’10’ and we had the Spinks brothers and we had Sugar Ray Leonard,”.

– Dick Pound, former International Olympic Committee vice-president

Experts: Top 5 picks for the next pope USA Today

In a similar vein, when he was just a Cardinal, Marc Ouellet was referred to as Quebec Cardinal Marc Ouellet. But now that he is the current leader in the eyes of Papal bookies to be the next Pope, he’s become Canadian Cardinal Marc Ouellet. No doubt if something hideous emerges from his past, or ultimately another Cardinal is elected Pope, I suspect he’ll once again be Quebec Cardinal Marc Ouellet.

Happy Mardi Gras; enjoy your pancakes.

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History, Humor

Pooped Pope resigns: should have switched from Papal Bulls to Red Bull – it does give you wings!

Photo by Kancelaria Prezydenta RP

The Vatican has announced that Pope Benedict XVI will resign on February 28th. This will mark the first time in 500 years that a Pope has stepped down.

At the age of 85 the Pope decided he was no longer able to fulfill the requirements of the Papacy.

… my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise of the Petrine ministry.                                                          -Pope Benedict XV

I applaud his decision to resign for the reason he stated rather than just hang around as a figurehead essentially be propped up and paraded about as some Popes have done. No doubt details of his resignation will emerge (then again, it is the Vatican, and they do know how to keep a secret) in the days and weeks ahead.

redbull.ca

One solution to the fatigue the Pope suffered may have been to have him switch from Papal Bulls to Red Bull. After all, it does “give you wings” just like an angel!!

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Christmas, Humor

Pope and Drummer Boy to debate presence of animals at nativity; CNN’s Candy-Cane Crowley to moderate

In his new book Pope Benedict XVI claims that there were no animals present at the nativity.

According to the pope’s research, there is also no evidence in the Gospels that the cattle and other animals traditionally pictured gathered around the manger were actually present. – CNN

Yet the Little Drummer Boy clearly states that he was accompanied by at least two animals.

The ox and lamb kept time
par-rum-pa-pum-pum

– Little Drummer Boy

No doubt a heated theological debate will ensue with some siding with the Holy Father and others the Drummer Boy. Keep in mind that Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, was ordained in 1951 while The Little Drummer Boy was written in 1941, a full decade earlier, so that must give him seniority.

Maybe CNN can continue its coverage of this issue by televising a debate between the Pope and the Drummer Boy moderated by, naturally, Candy-Cane Crowley!

 

 

 

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