DCMontreal: Blowing the Whistle on Society
Eclectic social commentary with a chuckle and maybe a sting in the tail
While the heat may have lessened for a few days, forecasters inform us that it will be back with a vengeance soon. But not to worry. I have perfected an app that will keep you cool wherever you may be. Just download and voila! portable cool.
Next on my list is a razor app!
What a long way we’ve come technologically. There are now cars that park themselves, banks that accept checks for deposit online right from the comfort of your home, good old spell-check that, granted, can be more annoying than helpful at times, and even 3D printers that print out things – actual things. But I’m still waiting for that one app that will provide users with a simple day off. Not from work, but from all thinking. Let’s call it Thinks-a-Lot©!
I figure I’ve been thinking for the better part of 56 years and sometimes it is exhausting. What I need is an app that will assume all my thinking, necessary or not, because much of what I spend time thinking about is a waste of that time at best, and harmful at worst.
Once downloaded the user would click on the settings cog and be presented with a huge array of potential thoughts and several options for each regarding how to deal with them. For instance under ‘driving’ you might find tick-able boxes for: obey all regulations; don’t exceed speed limit by more than x miles per hour; stop at all rail crossings. Voila, thoughtless driving, something which many motorists seem to already be applying to their travel. If you’re not going to be driving, this section can be left out.
The ‘worrying’ section would consist of options including: family; health; work; and the ever popular senseless. They say that most worry is a waste of time, yet I’ve always found that worrying actually works. About 80% of the things I’ve worried about never happened, so worrying about them must have played a role.
The miscellaneous category would be updated on an almost constant basis to include options for thinking about everything from skinning a badger to trying to figure out why anyone would choose to bungee jump. All those little pet peeves and thoughts arising from daily life would be included in this section.
Once properly configured to the user’s needs and thinking patterns, the app can be set to begin first thing in the morning, or even during the night for those who have intrusive sleep-robbing thoughts.
And before you know it, a holiday from thinking is all yours. And what if the app malfunctions? I can’t imagine the result would be any worse than what occurs on a regular basis as humans do the thinking, or don’t.
The designers of the app might want to include a warning about using it too often lest we have many people spending much time not thinking. Although we should all be used to that by now.
During the summer, there are those times when a good old fan is called for. Air conditioning does the majority of the cooling, but sometimes you need a simple, convenient hand fan. Whether in church, or a private home, when the temperature rises, and you need to cool off fast, reach for your smart phone and engage Fan-Tastic®. Silent and instantly cooling, Fan-Tastic® does the trick. Best of all, it’s free!
Some found this funny, I just think it makes sense!
