Think I’ll Be An Influencer


Taking advantage of round two of COVID-19 isolation, I’ve been doing some thinking (not always a good idea, in all honesty). Not only have I been thinking, but I’ve decided to seriously consider making a career change. Yes indeed, at the ripe old age of sixty-one I have decided to become an Influencer.

It hit me like a meteor last evening. While waiting for the local news to come on I was watching one of those celebrity/entertainment shows. And there she was, her name was not known to me, and currently escapes my mind, but, according to the graphic under her image, she was an Influencer. I thought to myself, that sounds like something I can do.

Never one to fear putting the cart before the horse, having decided to become an Influencer I then undertook to find out just what Influencers are, and what they do

Never one to fear putting the cart before the horse, having decided to become an Influencer I then undertook to find out just what Influencers are, and what they do. According to Merriam-Webster, they are people “who exert influencea person who inspires or guides the actions of others”. Over at Urban Dictionary they define Influencer as “a word Instagram users use to describe themselves to make them feel famous and more important when no one really know (sic) who they are or care (sic)”. I have a feeling my muse on TV last night falls into the latter group. It would appear that the millennial generation has taken the old word – shill (as in one who makes a sales pitch or serves as a promoter), and adapted it to a less unsavoury sounding word – Influencer.

It would appear that the millennial generation has taken the old word – shill (as in one who makes a sales pitch or serves as a promoter), and adapted it to a less unsavoury sounding word – Influencer

Fine and dandy! Armed with an idea of what Influencers do, I came upon the first snag in my new career venture; what exactly was I going to Influence people to do? One often hears the phrase, go with your strength, so I sat down and came up with a list. I figured that I could make my fortune by influencing people to do any number of things, including take naps, drink beer, be an avid reader, stretch domestic cats (yep, it’s a skill I’ve mastered that involves getting the right grip on a cat and gently bending it back until they take over the deep stretch), write, make Irish Stew, the list goes on.

Some popular Influencers tout soon-to-be popular video games. Having retired from that field when they increased the speed of Pong, I think I can rule out that option. Then there are fashion/lifestyle Influencers. Perhaps I could grow my following by pushing the importance of witty T-shirts as a means of communication. No ‘I’m With Stupid’ here!

Putting that major decision on the backburner, another key aspect of being an Influencer arose; what medium to use. The folks that I am familiar with are video Influencers, but I realized that I’m really not comfortable having my mug plastered all over the Internet (guess I should have called it off with that discovery). Mind you, countless times in my life, usually while on the phone, I have been asked if I work in radio (I have, in fact, done some voice work). So, it will have to be a Podcast.

I hereby promise not to affect an Irish brogue when podcasting my Lamb Stew recipe!

I suspect that by now you have grasped that I am not seriously considering a DCMontreal podcast on the history and benefits of afternoon naps. I guess I just wanted to poke a little fun at the marketing geniuses who continue to reinvent the wheel, but then pull the wool of folks’ eyes by calling it a mass transport device.

I figure I’ll concentrate on amassing a huge following and then sign a ridiculously lucrative contract to shill for some large entity. Could be a beer company, or a mattress maker, maybe an online dictionary.

In closing I’d like to point out that I have focused only on the positive nature of Influencers. Evil Influencers do exist, as Flip Wilson’s character Geraldine Jones pointed out constantly by stating ‘The devil made me do it’! By the way, I hereby promise not to affect an Irish brogue when podcasting my Lamb Stew recipe!

Published by DCMontreal

DCMontreal - Deegan Charles Stubbs - is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+

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