Code Red On Fun


Some weeks ago the Government of Quebec established a colour system to illustrate the various levels of the COVID-19 alert around the province. Never wanting to be left out, the city of Montreal has, as of yesterday, plunged headfirst into the highest – red – level.

Yep, it’s scientifically demonstrable that activities that may lead to enjoyment evidently pose the greatest threat

This Red Alert will be in effect for 28 days and comes with a whole passel of restrictions; too many to list here, but a few of them include bars and restaurant dining rooms being closed (restaurants may provide take-out and delivery). Gatherings of people in public or private are now verboten.

Dan Powers USA TODAY

If you take a look at the list of restrictions you can’t help but notice that there is a direct correlation between the chance of contracting the Novel Coronavirus and having fun. Yep, it’s scientifically demonstrable that activities that may lead to enjoyment evidently pose the greatest threat.

You can have teeth extracted, bunions removed, or a colonoscopy. But for Sweet Jaysus’ sake don’t sit six feet apart in a pub for a drink or two

If the congregation is limited to 25 people, you can attend religious services. Kids can go to school. You can have teeth extracted, bunions removed, or a colonoscopy. But for Sweet Jaysus’ sake don’t sit six feet apart in a pub for a drink or two. Have a bit of a flutter at the casino perhaps? No way.

We enter a new season, not autumn, but open season on fun. I heard on the radio today that the biggest spreader of the virus isn’t bars, restaurants, casinos, or even schools. It’s retail outlets. People handling goods in stores then putting them back, making payments, all the usual transactions involved in commerce have been called out as significant culprits in the spread of COVID-19.

Yet stores can remain open even under Code Red. Closing them again would allegedly cause many of them to go tits up. For some a little retail therapy will do them good. If I never set foot in another store I’d be just fine.

Much like Donkey in the Shrek movies and although we are only one full day in, I find myself often asking “Are we there yet?”.

Published by DCMontreal

DCMontreal - Deegan Charles Stubbs - is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+

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