The Annual Visit of the Fruit Flies

With the high humidity and more than average rainfall recently, the annual visit of the fruit flies to Montreal is well underway. These tiny pests hang out in and around kitchen trash containers, drains and have a specific penchant for empty beer cans (evidently like me they are fond of Coors Light).

… note to entomologists: frankly if we are to maintain any degree of political correctness they should really be called gay flies

They don’t sting or bite or eat your fabrics, they just annoy. They get into drinks and food, where they die a happy death. They move about like a cloud then lite waiting for the next shift in air current. These fruit flies (note to entomologists: frankly if we are to maintain any degree of political correctness they should really be called gay flies) can drive a relatively sane person to distraction in no time.

Having tried numerous home remedies including vinegar and wine based traps, we decided to turn to technology and purchase a Fruit Fly Trap. I set it up last night, following the instructions to a T, placed the armed trap as suggested and went to bed.

Upon awakening this morning I made my way to the kitchen and sure enough, there were several flies on the counter in the vicinity of the trap. It was only when I approached the counter that I realized they were not dead but seemed to be laughing quite heartily. Once they noticed me they scooted off but I’m certain they found the trap to be some kind of joke.

I fear there is only one real solution to the fruit fly problem: October!

DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+
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Partner, Pardner and Pardoner

Back when western movies featured hard men and pretty lasses diction was none too important. John Wayne, the Duke himself, has been oft quoted mumbling something along the lines of “C’mon pardner” as he called his buddy to ride off into the sunset. Of course he was actually referring to his pal as his partner. But it sounded tougher to pronounce it pardner.

Today, with so many same-sex marriages and relationships, the term partner has taken on a whole different meaning. One I doubt John would have liked.

But fear not, the concept of a pardner still exists, in fact the White House is home to a man who has sought legal advice on the possibility of being able to pardon himself. I think that makes President Trump the Pardoner in Chief, but because he’s a tough guy I assume he’ll refer to himself as the Pardner in Chief!!

DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+