Running With EarPods Akin to Waterboarding


EarPods

Although we had an easy winter, Mother Nature’s last few kicks at the can left many Montrealers worrying that spring would never arrive. But it did, as it has, to varying degrees, pretty much every year.

For me the raison d’etre of running is to work up a good sweat. Exuding  all those toxins (read: yesterday’s beer) and feeling the pounds of winter fat melting off is my goal. Cardiovascular benefits are gravy.

Even though the temperature is still on the chilly side, now that the streets and sidewalks are free of snow, ice, salt and slush I no longer have an excuse for not returning to my daily running routine. I used to run every weekday morning regardless of weather and road conditions. I believe this is what they call being young and foolish. Recently after many slips and several near arse over teakettle incidents I determined winter was more suited to power walking than running.

I like the brisk walk, but never get the same sense of accomplishment afterward. For me the raison d’etre of running is to work up a good sweat. Exuding  all those toxins (read: yesterday’s beer) and feeling the pounds of winter fat melting off is my goal. Cardiovascular benefits are gravy.

This year I have decided to alter my routine a wee bit, no easy task for someone who lettered in OCD. I have opted to do at least some on my running on a nearby track. No more dodging sidewalk traffic or vehicular traffic for that matter. I am going to run circles. In an effort to ease the boredom of track running I have been listening to my iPhone as I run now that Apple has come out with very good earpods (of course they had to be pods not buds and I have read that in future iPhones the headphone connection will be the same as the Apple charger and not the universal one that allows for any headset to be used). Not something I would do on city streets or sidewalks where concentration is required, but on the track I figured I could safely lose myself in an AccuRadio sixties channel as I chugged along.

The sound went from crisp and clear to garbled. It sounded as if I had my head underwater, yet I knew I did not. What was happening? Was I having a stroke?

With said earpods firmly in place I set off to the sounds of the Dave Clark Five. Shedding winter’s lethargy I basked in the sun as I jogged my way to a fit state. Before I knew it I was working up a sweat with the Beach Boys. But then it all went south. The sound went from crisp and clear to garbled. It sounded as if I had my head underwater, yet I knew I did not. What was happening? Was I having a stroke?

No. I soon realized that perspiration, the goal of this exercise, was seeping into my ear and being trapped there by my earpods, resulting in an underwater sound. Yep, I was being waterboarded by my iPhone. No amount of removal and reinsertion of the earpods could keep up with the flow of moisture and a supply of Q-Tips was not readily available (although you are not supposed to put those things in your ear).

Just when I thought I had things worked out …

DCS_Grad_2 DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+
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