Please Shelve Bread Crumbs With the Bread

Bread

While the universe is wrapped up in the discord within the Republican Party, I believe the time has come to tackle a more pressing issue; grocery store product placement.  In our busy world grocery shopping has become merely a weekly replenishing of basic necessities rather than the more sociable daily visits to

butchers and bakers once favoured. To facilitate this trek to the supermarket shoppers are encouraged to make a list and stick to it. I do half of that; I make a list, but have to admit I may stray a wee bit from the plan, especially if I am foolish enough to shop while hungry.

Is there something exotic about the listed merchandise that would make it tough to locate in a grocery store? Perhaps fillet of titmouse or aardvark’s arse.

In our house my significantly better half and I both assume responsibility for drawing up the list.  A lined pad is posted on the refrigerator and as one of us thinks of an item to be restocked, we write it down. Use the last chicken stock cube and forget to put them on the list and it is on your head! A few minutes on Friday morning over breakfast to add the staples – milk, bread and the like – and we are ready to go.

Being naturally curious I steal a glance at the list a few times during the course of the week. About three times a year I read something there that gets my heart-rate rising, goosebumps appear on my skin and on one occasion I almost hyperventilated. What causes this reaction is not the actual product, but rather the anxiety I just know I will experience when I try to find the item in the store.

Is there something exotic about the listed merchandise that would make it tough to locate in a grocery store? Perhaps fillet of titmouse or aardvark’s arse. Not at all, it should be so simple. Is there going to be a run on the item that means I will have to dash about to ensure I get one? No.

‘They used to be here.’ ‘I wonder where they are.’ Not the kind of statement one wants to hear from staff members. Fortunately they are grocery clerks and not surgeons!

The product that causes me so much angst is something as common as bread crumbs. This fine concoction can be used to coat chicken for frying or as a binder when making hamburgers. It is a standard in our kitchen, and I imagine in many others. So why can’t grocery stores get together and shelve them in the same place?

Sometimes they are with the pasta and tomato sauces. Being a fan of chicken parmigiana, I understand this logic. In other stores the breadcrumbs are placed with baking products. Yet other retailers put them in the Melba toast and breadstick section.

So on those few occasions a year when bread crumbs are on our list I approach the shopping chore with great trepidation. Where will they be this time? What if I exhaust my three usual locations with no luck? I have had several pleasant conversations with store employees as we hunted through the aisles in search of the elusive bread crumbs. ‘They used to be here.’ ‘I wonder where they are.’ Not the kind of statement one wants to hear from staff members. Fortunately they are grocery clerks and not surgeons!

If chocolate chips are to be found one shelf below blocks of baking chocolate, does it not follow that breadcrumbs should be with bread?

Call me a conspiracy theorist if you want, but my most recent expedition to our local supermarket confirmed my suspicion. This is not a random produce management decision, but an attempt to make my blood boil as I curse under my breath while seeking out what I consider to be a basic staple. This time, after countless trips up and down aisles, no doubt resembling someone lost in a garden maze, I finally found my beloved bread crumbs in a new section entirely. No doubt having noticed that the bread crumbs have Italian seasoning, someone decided they should be stacked in the imported food section. Right beside Indian curries and Jamaican patties. They must stay up nights thinking of places to put them.

So I have decided to take matters into my own hands. On behalf of bread crumb searchers everywhere, I plead, beseech, beg and implore grocery store managers to pick one spot and stick to it! I will even go a step further and suggest the best spot. Given the nature of the product, I have always believed the logical place to shelve bread crumbs is … with the bread! If chocolate chips are to be found one shelf below blocks of baking chocolate, does it not follow that breadcrumbs should be with bread?

DCS_Grad_2 DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+

GOP Convention and Guns

Guns

It has been said and written countless times: this US political season is unprecedented. Just when you think the race for Republican Party presidential candidate cannot get any stranger, it does. Usually these twists revolve around something one of those vying for the candidacy has said or written. Mud slung at an opponent’s wife or dirt dug up from the past. Good strong character traits not exactly showing the potential candidates in a presidential light.

Just when you think the race for Republican Party presidential candidate cannot get any stranger, it does.

But today it was the delegates and convention attendees who took a turn spotlighting the asininity of the current GOP.  With the potentiality of a hotly contested ‘brokered’ convention on the horizon for Cleveland next July, one that is sure to get both hackles and dander up, a proverbial powder keg, some 45,000 people have signed an online petition calling for guns to be allowed into the convention site.

The petition signatories state that as the GOP is against gun-free zones in general, to determine the party’s convention site gun-free flies in the face of party policy.

Excuse me for chortling, but if I have this right, a substantial number of Republicans want to be permitted to bring firearms to a gathering of fellow Republicans, one that could very well erupt into a knock-down-drag-out fight. One that will be held in a great big concrete and steel building. A convention that could turn very ugly. Seems to me just the type of environment you would normally not want to be exacerbated by armed attendees. However as a left-leaning liberal Canadian, the thought of a bunch of right-wingers inside a huge arena shooting at each other over disagreements as to which candidate is wackier would be must see TV. Talk about fish in a barrel.

If watching the GOP implode on a daily basis was not fulfilling enough, the possibility of an armed standoff at the convention is too much to ask for.

Those police forces charged with the security of convention goers and the general public maintain that a perimeter will be set up some distance from the Quicken Loans Arena to ensure no guns get into the convention.

“Only authorized law enforcement personnel working in conjunction with the Secret Service for a particular event may carry a firearm inside of the protected site,” the Secret Service said.

If watching the GOP implode on a daily basis was not fulfilling enough, the possibility of an armed standoff at the convention is too much to ask for.

The whole world is watching!

DCS_Grad_2 DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+

Mistakes: Surgical and Terrorist

Map

Mistakes, like accidents, happen. No amount of preparation, care and concentration can guarantee that mistakes will not occur so long as it is a human carrying out the task. When mistakes are made in very public instances it is not uncommon to hear someone state that ‘mistakes just can’t happen under these circumstances’. Well, they can, and they do.

A number of years ago I saw a news report about a patient in a hospital who had the wrong leg amputated. When the surgeon was supposed to remove the affected left leg, he or she erroneously lopped off the right leg. Mistakes happen. No amount of criticism is ever going to change that reality.

LegOnce this horrific mistake was made known, other patients awaiting amputations, or even less severe procedures, took to writing on their legs or arms with markers. Realizing that once they were anesthetized they would be unable to ensure which limb was to be removed, they would write NOT THIS LEG! OTHER ARM! DO NOT REMOVE! The state of unease that these patients must have felt is unimaginable.

I assume that the surgeons carrying out these amputations were well educated, sensible, smart people. Perhaps they were overworked and exhausted. Regardless mistakes happen.

With this in mind I have often pondered our situation vis a vis Canada’s proximity to The United States. The majority of Canadians live within a strip along the US/Canada border. Not on the border, but close enough.

Let me state unequivocally that I hope terrorist attacks against the US will never occur. But if they are to take place, I fear that the perpetrators will  make a mistake and hit the wrong country. This concern has been exacerbated by recent bellicose statements from Donald Trump. as there are those whose hatred of the US is so deep that I believe they take his comments as challenges. I know people personally, educated professionals, who believe that 9/11 was a matter of comeuppance. Not that, as some conspiracy theorists hold, the towers were detonated from within by government assailants. But that the US had it coming given what they perceive as an arrogance. 

I propose that we as a nation install a large notification to inform any would-be terrorists that they have the wrong target. I figure the best means of getting the message across is to use the crop circle approach of writing in summer, and snow in the winter.

DCS_Grad_2 DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+

Tweets From Good Friday

Easter_Tweets

DCS_Grad_2 DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DC on Twitter @DCMontreal and on Facebook, and add him on Google+

 

Terror Attacks in Brussels

Tin

DCS_Grad_2 DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+

Montreal’s 193rd St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Today Montreal will hold it’s 193 consecutive St. Patrick’s Day parade.  The parade will make its way along Ste. Catherine Street eastward starting at Fort Street. Below is a photo from the 1987 parade when someone evidently forgot to put out No Parking signs the night before. I can imagine what they may have been doing instead, as the Saturday before the parade can be a wild night!

Parade

DCS_Grad_2 DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+

An Irish Blessing for St. Patrick’s Day

An Irish blessing

image

DCS_Grad_2 DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+