A Canadian Election Scandal Piss Off

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In cross-border fairness I am posting a story from Canada that, much like the piece about West Point cadets bonking each other on the head with rock-filled pillowcases, leaves me wondering. As I mentioned in my previous post, you just can’t make this stuff up.

While many folks think politics is akin to pissing in the wind, Bance has taken that concept to new depths.

The CBC has released video of Conservative Party of Canada (CPC) candidate Jerry Bance urinating in a sink via a coffee cup. Some background is required. While many folks think politics is akin to pissing in the wind, Bance has taken that concept to new depths.

At the time of the incident Bance was not a candidate, he was a contractor. The CBC had rigged a house with cameras to watch contractors they had the homeowner call in for various problems. During Bance’s stay he was caught short as it were and needed to empty his bladder. Resourceful lad that he was, he grabbed a nearby coffee cup, whizzed into it then dumped it down the kitchen sink drain. Unbeknownst to him all was caught on camera.

Let’s be honest, many of us of a certain age have probably been in Bance’s spot. Frankly I think he should have skipped the coffee cup and gone straight for relief in the sink. Mind you the sink is pretty high; perhaps he’s just not man enough to reach!

But welcome to Canadian election scandal. Is it a hidden criminal past? An old appearance on a sex offenders list? A felony? A marital affair? Nope. He took a leak in a sink. I wonder just how many contractors would admit to having done the same.

Frankly I think he should have skipped the coffee cup and gone straight for relief in the sink. Mind you the sink is pretty high; perhaps he’s just not man enough to reach!

This is a party with a history of urinary references. In November of 1971 then leader of the Progressive Conservative Party of Canada John Diefenbaker claimed that when it came to polls “… dogs know best what to do with polls”. The homophonic nature of that quip loses something in writing.

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a supporter of the CPC, but this strikes me as merely chucklesome. I have to think that if the CBC intended the piece to have a negative impact on Bance’s run for office, they are going to have to dig significantly deeper.

It seems Bance has stepped down as candidate; no doubt hoping to do so quietly on Labour Day. Wouldn’t that just piss you right off!

DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DC on Twitter @DCMontreal and on Facebook, and add him on Google+