New App Does All Your Thinking


Thinksalot

What a long way we’ve come technologically. There are now cars that park themselves, banks that accept checks for deposit online right from the comfort of your home, good old spell-check that, granted, can be more annoying than helpful at times, and even 3D printers that print out things – actual things. But I’m still waiting for that one app that will provide users with a simple day off. Not from work, but from all thinking. Let’s call it Thinks-a-Lot©!

About 80% of the things I’ve worried about never happened, so worrying about them must have played a role.

I figure I’ve been thinking for the better part of 56 years and sometimes it is exhausting. What I need is an app that will assume all my thinking, necessary or not, because much of what I spend time thinking about is a waste of that time at best, and harmful at worst.

Once downloaded the user would click on the settings cog and be presented with a huge array of potential thoughts and several options for each regarding how to deal with them. For instance under ‘driving’ you might find tick-able boxes for: obey all regulations; don’t exceed speed limit by more than x miles per hour; stop at all rail crossings. Voila, thoughtless driving, something which many motorists seem to already be applying to their travel. If you’re not going to be driving, this section can be left out.

The ‘worrying’ section would consist of options including: family; health; work; and the ever popular senseless. They say that most worry is a waste of time, yet I’ve always found that worrying actually works. About 80% of the things I’ve worried about never happened, so worrying about them must have played a role.

Voila, thoughtless driving, something which many motorists seem to already be applying to their travel.

The miscellaneous category would be updated on an almost constant basis to include options for thinking about everything from skinning a badger to trying to figure out why anyone would choose to bungee jump. All those little pet peeves and thoughts arising from daily life would be included in this section.

Once properly configured to the user’s needs and thinking patterns, the app can be set to begin first thing in the morning, or even during the night for those who have intrusive sleep-robbing thoughts.

And before you know it, a holiday from thinking is all yours. And what if the app malfunctions? I can’t imagine the result would be any worse than what occurs on a regular basis as humans do the thinking, or don’t.

The designers of the app might want to include a warning about using it too often lest we have many people spending much time not thinking. Although we should all be used to that by now.

 

DCS_Grad_2 DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DC on Twitter @DCMontreal and on Facebook, and add him on Google+

 

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3 thoughts on “New App Does All Your Thinking

  1. Very funny. Always get a little smile for the day from your blog. 😊 Are you friends with Kwvin by the way? Not that hes much of a facebooker but he’d enjoy yours. There should be a referral section since I have many friends who would enjoy your humour.

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