Someone stole my running shoes. I’m gobsmacked. They were lovely Saucony shoes, wide and comfy just the way my tootsies like them. They were a Christmas gift from my significantly better half. Given our rotten winter, they only had a few miles on them. And now they’re gone.
Yesterday upon my return I left the shoes outside our apartment door as they had some mud and chalk in the treads. Yes, chalk. May I digress for a moment to ask daycare teachers everywhere to please make sure your budding Picassos pick up the pieces of chalk they have used. I’m all in favour of the little ones expressing their creativity on the sidewalks of the city, but consider that joggers and pedestrians who step on the pieces of chalk can be injured. Fortunately yesterday it was just my pride that was hurt as I did my impression of a lumberjack competition log roller.
This leaving of shoes outside apartment doors is far from an unusual practice in our building. Most apartments have several pairs of shoes outside. Strictly speaking it is against fire regulations to have anything in the hallways, but I think most buildings tend to look the other way until, that is, they are cited by inspectors.
What has me flummoxed is why someone would make their way up three flights of stairs, past numerous shoes, and pilfer mine. I assume it was an outside job, as I would notice another tenant wearing them. (Although when we were robbed of several thousand dollars worth of heirloom jewelry a few years ago it was an inside job.)
The other option is that someone on my floor – there are three other apartments on our landing – pinched them. But two of the other apartments have long-time tenants living in them, so I’m ruling them out. The folks in the other one have been here for several months and don’t seem to be shoe thieves, unless one of their kids did it playfully.
I recently attempted to remove a pair of running shoes that had been hung on a branch of a tree on our front lawn. I only succeeded in twisting it around the limb even tighter. But someone subsequently did get them down. I wonder if the person who placed those shoes there saw my feeble attempt to remove them, assumed I had come back with a ladder to cut them down, and is exacting their revenge. Have I become a conspiracy theorist? Did Zapruder get the culprit on film? Am I losing it?
Like Joe Jackson I am shoeless. I need to tread carefully as I have lost my sole.