Well what do you know? A recent piece on NBCNEWS.com confirms what we mayonnaise lovers have known all along: mayo is the number one condiment in the United States. Not ketchup, not mustard and not salsa – which was disqualified on a technicality; it’s a dip not a condiment – but good old whipped up egg whites mayonnaise. While this poll was limited to the U.S., I feel confident that the result would hold up in many other places. For instance the Irish have long appreciated the wonders of mayonnaise, even going so far as to name one of their counties Mayo!
The NBC story tells of a lawsuit the good folks at Hellmann’s have launched against a vegan product called “Just Mayo”. The ersatz condiment uses – brace yourselves – yellow peas instead of eggs! Sweet thundering Jesus! I have nothing against vegans or their food, but if it’s so good, why not call the product “Yellow Pea Spread” instead of trying to fool consumers with the word “Mayo” on the label?
At least Kraft Foods didn’t try that with their Miracle Whip product. As a stand-alone condiment Miracle Whip is fine, but it isn’t mayonnaise. And anyone who says different should not be trusted and should always be watched closely for signs of further traitorous acts. Needless to say, any food emporium that would present a diner with Miracle Whip claiming it to be mayonnaise should be vacated immediately, and authorities notified.
I enjoy other condiments as well as mayo, in fact often in tandem: a smooth creamy layer of yellow mustard on a burger or hotdog, some hotter Keen’s mustard mixed from powder form on roast beef, ketchup on Shepard’s Pie, even a touch of relish can do much to enhance my dining pleasure. For those of you reading this in the U.S., hold on tight, because this tends to come as a shock to many of you, but mayonnaise on fries is the way to go. Give it a try and you’ll never go back to ketchup. The Belgians have known this for years, but many in North America are hesitant, even skeptical of the delicacy.
Congratulations to all my fellow mayonnaise consumers and good luck Hellmann’s! But I do wonder what you did with those two old ladies who argued about everything but your mayonnaise …