Dear John Letter to My Yahoo!


Yahoo!

Dear My Yahoo!,

It is after many sleepless nights and much consideration, and with heavy heart that I write this, but as is the case with giving up smoking, I understand there is never a good time to break up. It seems there’s always a birthday or a holiday, a party or an event coming along that gives us an easy opportunity to procrastinate, to put off the unpleasant but necessary action. “I’ll quit smoking after Frank’s party.” “I’ll tell her after her sister’s wedding.” Well My Yahoo!, we’ve been together, in daily contact for over a dozen years, yet the time has come to call it a day. To reverse that old break-up standby: the problem isn’t me, it’s you. Not that you have changed, but that you have not.

Well My Yahoo!, we’ve been together, in daily contact for over a dozen years, yet the time has come to call it a day. To reverse that old break-up standby: the problem isn’t me, it’s you.

When we first got together all those years ago you were so state of the art, even your search engine was powered by something called Google – I wonder what ever happened to those guys.  You provided me with the ultimate Internet experience; everything I needed in one place. My mail, my news, my stock portfolio, my calendar and so much more. I’m a sucker for customizable applications, and you let me go to town with colors and layouts. When I got to my office, sat at my desk and turned on my computer My Yahoo! popped up and my day began.

But over the years the Internet has grown exponentially while you have dragged your feet. For instance, there are now online calendars that synchronize across numerous devices, but the calendar on my My Yahoo! refuses to believe that it isn’t tomorrow. No amount of adjusting settings or seeking help has worked. I like the idea of being ahead of our time, just not when the concept is applied to calendars.

… the calendar on My Yahoo! refuses to believe that it isn’t tomorrow. No amount of adjusting settings or seeking help has worked. I like the idea of being ahead of our time, just not when the concept is applied to calendars.

You can’t really blame me for having roving eyes when all about me the Internet is advancing while you stay in a rut. Sexy young applications are very appealing. Unlike humans who age no matter what surgeons’ magic is performed, you could have maintained a modern updated state. But you let things go, you started to sag and lose your initial appeal, you didn’t work out or grow.

I want to thank you for everything, I think we should do our best to maintain civilized relations as we will no doubt bump into each other along the way as I intend to continue to use Yahoo mail. And if you do shape up, I’ll be back. We were once good for each other, we can be again.

Good luck!

DCM_Signature

Me DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DC on Twitter @DCMontreal and on Facebook, and add him on Google+
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