Life is full of little annoyances, peeves, irksome occurrences, call them what you will. Usually not life-threatening or catastrophic, but a good old piss-off. Bits of eggshell where they shouldn’t be – like in my omelet; an itch in the middle of one’s back; just out of reach; an iPad that refuses to settle in the orientation you want – landscape instead of portrait, or vice versa – leaving you flipping the device around like a lunatic race car driver steering out of a tailspin. These are all among the little trials we all face on a daily basis. They build character and test our patience as we try to come to terms with them. Sure they do, just keep saying that to yourself.
But when it comes to the grand-daddy of aggravating wee vexations, aside that is from a prolonged case of hiccups, can there be anything worse than biting your tongue? What makes this the supreme botheration isn’t merely it’s painful, eye watering physical effect, but the fact that you have no one to blame but yourself.
A stubbed toe can be put down to a moved piece of furniture or poor lighting, computer quirks are always the doing of the malicious dastardly machine, but only you can bite your own tongue. Frankly I don’t know why it doesn’t happen more often. A wagging piece of fatty flesh flopping about amid an army of sharp teeth, some called incisors, others canines, seems like a mouth full of blood looking for a place to happen to me. Yet miraculously it only happens from time to time. But when it does happen, look out! This is one blogger who is fit to be tied when he chomps down on his tongue.
They say the mouth heals faster than any other part of the body. But a bitten tongue can affect one for days as it swells at the point of impact, leaving an inviting protrusion that is highly susceptible to repeat nibbles. Of course there is no treatment for a bitten tongue other than time; Band-Aids only stick for a short while (just kidding), and those products that numb the area only enable you to re-bite it to a meaty pulp without even knowing it until the freezing wears off. And if you thought it hurt the first time …..
Alas short of a liquid diet, from time to time, we will all experience the pain and annoyance of the bitten tongue. On the bright side, biting your tongue usually has fewer ramifications than putting your foot in your mouth.