Harvard research shows nuts are good for you, can beer be far behind?


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A new study from Harvard shows that eating nuts is good for you – please God let beer not be far behind. It can reduce your chances of dying from a number of illnesses including cancer. A mere ounce of nuts eaten daily can help cheat the Grim Reaper, and that does include the lowly peanut.

This discovery comes as great news for two groups: squirrels and those of us who partake of the Beer and Nuts diet.

I’m sure the Harvard folks used all sorts of scientific methodology in their research but really all they had to do was stroll through a park. No doubt those of us who live in close proximity to squirrels have often seen the sad sight of a dead squirrel splayed on the road, having lost his race with oncoming traffic.

A quick scan of squirrel obituaries includes many ‘Accidentally while on his way to work’ and ‘Suddenly while crossing the street’ but only a handful of ‘Peacefully at the age of 42 surrounded by his family’. Why? Nuts.

Perhaps you’ve even had the unpleasant experience of driving over a darting scared squirrel. But rarely, if ever, do you see a squirrel who has apparently died of natural causes, maybe sitting in a lawn chair. Why? Nuts.

A quick scan of squirrel obituaries includes many ‘Accidentally while on his way to work’ and ‘Suddenly while crossing the street’ but only a handful of ‘Peacefully at the age of 42 surrounded by his family’. Why? Nuts.

So if we let squirrels lead the way on the nut issue, as seems natural, think back to the last time you saw a squirrel eating peanuts. Did he daintily have one or two? Nope. I bet he had  those little grey cheeks stuffed to near bursting with them. So I say why stop at one ounce daily? Buy the huge jar at Costco and cram them – squirrel-like – into your cake-hole, all in the name of good health.

MeDCMontreal is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and Freans and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DC on Twitter @DCMontreal and on Facebook, and add him on Google+
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