Recently I awoke to find that my tabby Ferguson had been at my iPhone during the night and had taken a selfie. He’s still not talking about who the photo was sent to, but in my trash folder I did find the draft of an email to Purina, makers of Whiskas, which I know to be a favorite of Ferguson’s. The email subject was New Whiskas Face.
After publishing his selfie last week several people (okay, it was one) suggested Ferguson consider taking over for much beleaguered and embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. After giving it significant thought, he – Ferguson not Ford – has decided to decline the offer.
Recently in a candid moment over a couple of saucers of cream – not having a cat’s sandpaper-like tongue these tête-à-têtes usually involve me wearing more cream than I consume and Ferguson on the floor laughing – he admitted he was tempted to take over as mayor, but will not proceed.
He pointed out that Ford has been criticized for his weight. Ferguson himself leans to the rotund (did I mention Whiskas?) and really isn’t all that keen on too much exercise so he thought he’d give the fat cat references a miss.
In addition he mentioned that he did, as a younger cat, use Cat-Nip but swears he didn’t buy it nor did he inhale. He’s clearly watching too much CNN. Mayor Ford’s use of stimulants also leads Ferguson to believe the position of mayor requires long hours of wakefulness which would severely cut into his napping.
But the final deterrent was the recent news of another cat mayor. But not just that a town in Alaska has a cat for mayor, but that the cat’s name is Stubbs. Believe it or not my last name isn’t Montreal, nope that’s just a silly nom de plume. My last name is in fact Stubbs. Therefore Ferguson figures his last name is also Stubbs. Being a cat and concerned with getting great helpings of attention, Ferguson is afraid that the Google search “Cat+Mayor+Stubbs” will lead to the Alaskan feline mayor and not him, so he figures what’s the point? But he did admit he kind of liked the idea of FergNation!