Trunks packed, Toronto elephants head to California


Elephants_Leave

With trunks packed and Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk on the CD player – Al Hirt and Doc Severinsen to follow, lovers of trumpeting that these beasts are, the three are making their way to the west coast.

After a few setbacks the Toronto elephants are off to sunny California. With trunks packed and Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk on the CD player – Al Hirt and Doc Severinsen to follow, lovers of trumpeting that these beasts are – the three are making their way to the west coast. It will take about 50 hours to get to their new home, but they plan to drop in on Bob Barker before arriving at their final destination.

The elephants piled into a specially designed SUV amid a frenzy of paparazzi; from People to National Geographic the excited photographers jostled for a shot. The vehicle has been adapted for them, allegedly by the same company that makes Popemobiles, with the airbags replaced by large sacks of peanuts, and extra trunk rests have been installed. The back seat has a large screen for viewing films and copies of various Babar, Dumbo, and Discovery Channel specials have been provided.

Having thick but sensitive skin, and moving to a much sunnier climate, the elephants took full advantage of the excellent Canadian healthcare system to fill their prescriptions for Pachy-Derm moisturizing lotion with SPF 75.

Asked if they are looking forward to their new home one replied that the media attention was getting to them so anything that will put an end to it will be better, “When it comes to elephants, you’re either African or Indian, but we’ve been saddled with Toronto as a brand”. Having thick but sensitive skin, and moving to a much sunnier climate, the elephants took full advantage of the excellent Canadian healthcare system to fill their prescriptions for Pachy-Derm moisturizing lotion with SPF 75. “It’s Obamacare from now on I guess. Let’s see how that works, being elephants you understand we’re Republicans”, said one.

So as you drive this weekend if you see an over-sized SUV that is listing to one side – with three elephants this is unavoidable – take a moment to wave as you pass them.

MeDCMontreal is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that. a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and Freans and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DC on Twitter @DCMontreal and on Facebook, and add him on Google+
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