If Kate requires an episiotomy, will the baby be a royal pain in the ass?


KateThe Kate Wait may be coming to an end as reports flash around the world that the Duchess of Cambridge has gone into labour. There was some debate over the matter – call it a labour dispute, as in the “labour” or “labor” dispute – but Buckingham Palace has evidently confirmed it. Of course you understand nothing ever actually happens unless the Palace confirms it.

If Kate requires an episiotomy, will the baby be a royal pain in the ass right from the start?

As you may well imagine rumours have been flying given the world’s attention being focused on the event. One such bit of idle gossip has been squelched; it appears there was no truth at all to the story involving Prince Philip, the Great-Granddad-to-be, wetting himself upon being told the news and thinking Kate had, in fact, joined the Labour Party. He still has all his marbles and understood the labour/birth concept, although he did wet himself which has become a common occurrence since standing in the cold rain during the Queen’s Jubilee sail-past.

but remember to heir is human …

No, our Kate is now in labour and the next heir is about to make his or her appearance. One often thinks of the royals as being superhuman (well, the royals do at least, but remember to heir is human …). Once the baby is here, the Queen will be free to depart on her vacation which Kate, by dragging out the whole birth process, has caused to be delayed. I don’t know why the Queen couldn’t just trundle off on holiday anyway, I imagine they would have kept her informed and quiet frankly I don’t see her as the baby-cuddling-great-Grandma type so I won’t be expecting photos of her arriving at the hospital with flowers and balloons.

I don’t see (the Queen) as the baby-cuddling-great-Grandma type so I won’t be expecting photos of her arriving at the hospital with flowers and balloons

I hope all goes well with the labour and birth of England’s future monarch and that no complications arise. I wonder, if Kate requires an episiotomy, will the baby be a royal pain in the ass right from the start? Once the Kate wait ends, the Kate Weight watch can begin as she tries to shed those mummy-pounds with the entire world watching!

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