Pope Benedict’s retirement options include Gucci, Red Bull and the Shopping Channel

Pope Benedict XVI will resign at the end of the week. We now know he will be referred to as Pope Emeritus, but what exactly is he going to do? He could take a break from being a fisher of men to be a fisher of … well …fish. He could find a nice lake near the Vatican, stroll out to the middle of it and start fishing – no need for a boat.


Once he tires of that, I have a few other suggestions.

The public speaking circuit can be very lucrative; Bill Clinton has earned some $89 million since leaving office.  His fee varies but averages in the area of $200,000 per engagement. There are four living US Presidents, not including the current President Obama. There will only be one Pope Emeritus so the sky’s the limit for his fee. The only thing that may get in the way is that no one has understood anything Benedict has said for the last three years.

Many retired public figures, especially athletes, turn to the world of advertising. Retired US Senator Bob Dole was a shill for Viagra – not that I see the Pope going down that road. Retired NBA great Michael Jordan flogged Nike products for years, as did Olympian and Paralympian Oscar Pistorius until recently.

Adriano Stefanelli – Papal Shoes

We have learned that the Pope, once he becomes Emeritus, will no longer be wearing those red Prada shoes. I suggest he get in touch with Gucci and propose an ad with him sitting back in a comfy chair with his feet up in a pair of black, definitely not red, Gucci shoes.

He’s also got to give back the Piscatory Ring. Having worn it since becoming Pope he may well be able to find a spot on the Shopping Channel as they always seem to be selling jewelry.

The reason given for his retirement is his advanced age and waning stamina. As I have alluded to elsewhere the Pope Emeritus might want to consider becoming a spokesman for Red Bull. A nice photo of Benedict holding a can of Red Bull and saying “ I’ve switched from Papal Bulls to Red Bull – it gives you wings”

In fact Benedict is going to devote time to prayer and meditation once he abdicates. But if that gets dull, I hope he’ll consider my suggestions.

Published by DCMontreal

DCMontreal - Deegan Charles Stubbs - is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+

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